Often when I am perusing discussion forums or websites that have questions about astrology, I see the most common one: “How does (insert zodiac sign here) get along with (insert other zodiac sign here)?”
I do see some trying to take a stab at answering, giving the typical, “…you are both Fire signs, so you should get along great” response.
Not only are these nuggets of wisdom misleading to the novice who is reading them, but, just comparing the Sun signs of two individuals as the end all of whether they would make a great couple is a disservice to astrology.
When an astrologer is posed with a question about compatibility there are two main techniques that are used. The first is called Synastry. This is where we take 2 separate natal charts and compare the aspects between the luminaries, planets and houses of the chart. The next type of comparison is a Composite chart where we take both charts and combine them in order to get one chart that is read as if it were a natal chart. Both are quite accurate and can show the strengths as well as the challenges a couple may face.
But wait! Synastry (more so than a Composite chart) can also be used to give insight into how you would get along with your boss, a business partner, your siblings, friends and parents. Ever wonder why you have a sibling rivalry or hard time with one and you get along well with the other? It is likely due to more than just the fact you both may have your Suns in a positive aspect to each other – there may also be some Venus, Moon or Jupiter involved that softens the relationship and how you interact.
But, for this article, we will focus on the relationships most astrologers get questioned about: romantic ones. Below is a list to give you an idea of how a luminary or planet aspecting another’s chart can have a positive or challenging effect. Do note though, that this is certainly NOT a complete list or how a synastry would read. Taking two charts and explaining in detail how they work together is much more involved than what an article here would even begin to cover. The first will show the positive side of a luminary or planet aspecting another, and the second shows challenges that may present themselves if the aspects are considered difficult.
Sun:
The Sun in one’s chart is their life force, wherever we find it in the chart is where one shines. Having positive aspects between charts can help the Sun person immensely. The more challenging aspects can bring with it a battle of wills.
Positive: Allows the other to shine, is generous, warm and caring, protective, brings out your ambitious side, heals and encourages the other person.
Challenging: Can be authoritative, needs constant gratification or attention, takes the spotlight constantly, is in competition with you, demanding and childish.
Moon:
The Moon in one’s chart is their emotional nature and shows how you may relate to the women in your life. Having positive aspects between charts can show an understanding of where you are coming from, wanting to be caring towards you. The more challenging aspects can bring domestic issues and angst in regard to how the other is feeling.
Positive: Is nurturing, receptive, responsive to your needs, protective.
Challenging: Overly emotional, needs reassurance, moody, lack of understanding and trivial things can be blown out of proportion.
Mercury:
Mercury in the chart shows how we think and communicate. Our Mercury forming a positive aspect between charts shows an easy flow of communication, being on the same wavelength in understanding the other persons point of view. The challenging aspects can bring misunderstanding, arguments and friction between the two involved.
Positive: Open communication, like minded, understands the others point of view without feeling slighted.
Challenging: Misunderstandings, feels words are used as a weapon, doesn’t hear what the other is saying and may feel the others mind or thinking is “off”.
Venus:
Venus in the chart is the planet that rules romance, relationships, how we interact socially and our aesthetic or taste. Positive aspects can show a balance between two people, affection, courtesy and love. It can also show a similar taste when it comes to the creative arts such as music or decorating. The challenging aspects can bring jealousy, deception, financial issues and a clash when it comes to what may seem like a simple thing, such as what music to listen to or the type of house to buy!
Positive: A feeling of companionship, balance, light-heartedness and friendship. Both would be coming from the same viewpoint when it comes to how to handle a relationship. Submissive to each other’s needs and often charmed by the other. Grace and beauty.
Challenging: Overindulgence, seeks pleasure, may want to have fun instead of dealing with practical matters. Extreme sensitivity can lead to emotional upsets or suffering. May go out of their way to please the other in order to avoid pain and growth. Difficult to say no to the other. The more challenging aspects can show a passive relationship that has little chance to endure. May also indicate coming from two social groups and may have a hard time feeling included.
Mars:
Mars in our chart shows our ability to get things done, how we act, our sexual nature, and our competitiveness. Mars is considered the “lesser malefic” in astrology, meaning it can be a negative influence if it makes difficult aspects to another chart. It can either act as the push you need to move ahead or feel like a bully!
Positive: Determination, direct, energetic and in tune sexually. Their aims would be in line with each other and they would approach challenges in the same manner. Would be a force to be reckoned with!
Challenging: Too impatient with the other, easily aroused to anger, immediate action can result in quarrels, competitive and may be seen as thoughtless of the other. Mars in general when forming a negative aspect has the tendency to arouse the fighting nature in the other – this is why they tend to be seen as antagonistic in synastries. I know from personal experience when someone’s Mars is adversely affecting my chart – I want to argue or debate them. I just feel as though I am being rubbed the wrong way. Being that Mars is how we fight, the more challenging aspects can bring out that fight or flight response. This aspect may be found in those who tend to have on again, off again relationships. While it may be great for make-up sex, over time, it can wear you down!
Jupiter:
Jupiter in the chart is the “greater benefic” meaning it can bring with it rewards. Anything Jupiter touches in the chart tends to expand or become bigger-than-life. This can be a good or bad thing depending on the planet Jupiter is in aspect to.
Positive: Inspiring and encouraging. Fun, playful and if there are misunderstandings, forgiveness would be easy.
Challenging: Indulgent, extravagant, costly, things are done to excess, promising more than they can deliver and taking one for granted. Laziness.
Saturn:
Saturn is the planet of limitations, lessons and caution. It is considered the “greater malefic” and while this may be seen by some as a negative, most times if we look deeper, we need Saturn to make difficult aspects between charts so that we can learn and grow. Saturn in aspect to any personal planet or angle in the chart of another can also indicate a karmic tie between them. The Saturn person is typically the teacher here who is brought into your life to give you a lesson in whatever house/planet it is affecting. Aspects from Saturn can also have you feeling as though you have known the person forever, no matter if it is a challenging or positive contact between whatever planet is being aspected.
Positive: Prudent, gives security, gives wise counsel, deep, patient and disciplined.
Challenging: Overbearing, suppressive, may try to restrain your feelings or actions, fearful, greedy, selfish, cold, lacks confidence and may bring much worry or negative feelings to the relationship.
Uranus:
Uranus in the chart shows the unusual, unconventional and erratic. You will definitely know when you meet someone who’s Uranus is in close aspect to one of your personal planets. You may feel energized, amazed by their intellect or feel a sudden unexplainable desire for them!
Positive: Feeling amazed and in awe of the other. The ability to feel the relationship is always evolving and growing. Excitement and sudden changes. A magnetic feeling between the two involved.
Challenging: Not being able to count on the other, too many changes for the sake of change, non-committal, irresponsible, unconventional, too independent, cannot be “caught”, selfish and unpredictable. Discordant aspects from Uranus to the other charts personal planets are usually one of the main issues I see when doing a synastry. The chart of the personal planet person will be desirous of taming the Uranus individual and cannot fathom why they back off when approached for “more”.
Neptune:
Neptune is the planet of illusion, sacrifice, intuition, romance, and idealism.
Positive: Compassion, sympathy for the other, dedication, romantic, and sensuous. A positive aspect here can show a person who will anticipate your needs before you even voice them. Neptune aspects between charts can have a telepathic type of energy. When positive, that person just knows you and knows how to please you. Will bring out the creative side of the other.
Challenging: While Uranus may be one of the main troublemakers when I do synastry charts, invariably, Neptune tends to be even more evident between charts when there is a problem! Reason for this is that Neptune aspects can be elusive, promise more than they can deliver, may mislead, bring addiction into the picture, is lazy, and any insincerity between the two can lead to a major disappointment that is hard to recover from. This planet also tends towards one person only seeing what they want to see, being blind to glaring faults or issues. When the veil is removed, it can be devastating and cause the two to go their separate ways. The dream has been broken. I have found as well that the hard contacts between Neptune and personal planets (especially Venus) occur in charts of those who may not have an official break-up – they just seem drift apart without much fanfare.
Pluto:
Pluto is the planet of power, obsession, ruthlessness, survival and rebirth. This planet in connection to any of the personal planets is another karmic link that is often seen when you become involved with someone who may impact your life in a transforming way. Whether that transformation is for good or bad is seen by the other aspects that form with Pluto between the charts as well as how Pluto is placed and aspected in the individuals charts.
Positive: Helps you see that in yourself that you may have not realized or wanted to deal with previously. Is a very growth- oriented aspect that can have you exploring areas of your life that you may have been fearful of. Pluto in aspect to one’s chart in a harmonious way can render that person feeling safe to let down their guard and be vulnerable. One may feel that this person knows them on a soul level.
Challenging: The hard aspects can have one feeling as though they are being exposed or exploited in some way. The Pluto person may be abusing their power and taking advantage of the other. Obsession is not uncommon with a Pluto aspect between charts, depending on the planet involved. If other aspects are troublesome, a Pluto aspect can be one that has one person needing power, authority and complete submission from another. In extreme cases, there can be explosive situations which may involve abuse on an emotional or even physical level if other indicators point to this between charts.
The above is only an outline of how the different planets energies can work between charts. Getting a complete synastry done would delve much deeper into the aspects between charts and be more detailed in how they may affect the relationship. A planets position by house and sign in their partner’s chart would give more detail and may even quell some of the more difficult aspects.
The important thing to remember is that challenging aspects are not always an unwelcome sight. If you had only positive aspects between charts, there would be little impetus for growth between partners. Challenging aspects have us looking at the shadow side of ourselves that we may not like much. While painful, the darker side of our personalities need to be brought to our attention – usually through a partner shining a spotlight on it. If we are able to work through those difficulties, we not only grow, but, learn valuable lessons from those who we are involved with.
If you would like to know how your chart works with anyone (partner, spouse, friend, co-worker, boss, sibling or teacher) in your life, you can send me a message here to book an appointment or click the Chat Now button to speak with me if I am available!
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Hi Olivia!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on the article! Keep an eye out for many more articles related to the astrology of relationships!
Juli
Hi my name is Olivia and I just wanted to drop you a quick note here instead of calling you. I discovered your Relationship Compatibility – Astrologically Speaking page and wanted to tell you how much it helped me! This is a fantastic article! Thank you!