You may be in a relationship that just started a couple of months ago and you suddenly feel your partner is pulling away.
What can you do to keep him from drifting and get him to actually fall in love with you?
There are first a few factors to consider.
The relationship could have been purely based on chemistry and the sexual attraction is just not there anymore. Ask yourself if this guy really does it for you and if you should continue with the relationship.
He could be emotionally immature and not have enough experiences in relationships to understand how to make a relationship a success. Or he may not be that into you, he has discovered you don’t have that much in common, and you need to move on.
However if you feel that this is the man of your dreams then you may want to look at how you are loving him and see if you can love him in a way where he’ll want to stay.
On some level a man may feel you are more invested in the relationship than he is. This could make him feel pressured and want to withdraw.
Men are about the here and now, women like to project into the future and ask if this is the one they will spend their lives with. Don’t do that. Don’t go into a relationship with so many expectations. It takes more than a few months to get to know someone. Go in expecting to get to know the man before you decide if you even want to spend your life with him.
The first most important thing you must do is recognize him as a man. Not Prince Charming, but a man who takes care of his responsibilities, is striving to accomplish his goals in life and is someone who is serious about life, but loves to laugh at the same time. See him for who he is by his qualities rather than what he looks like and how he performs in bed.
Once you recognize him as a man then give him validation. Men seek many ways to gain validation through their relationships with women. Something instinctive tells him that a woman in his life can make him alright. Whether she is a trophy chick on his arm, someone to impress his friends with, or he has a scorecard of all the women he has dated, women in some way validate him.
Men sometimes go through entire lives attempting to feel good about themselves through the relationships they have with women. They want to be loved by women who are independent and strong. So when he does withdraw, which is natural with all men in relationships, then you continue with your life as if he were not a part of it.
YES you do your own business, don’t text, call, hound him or ask why he hasn’t called. Instead have a life and enjoy it. A man will come back and loves to see his woman is not freaking out because he didn’t call for a few days.
It’s best not to give this “withdrawal” any importance at all. Be glad to see him but be reserved and into your own world.
So how do you validate your man?
Treat him like your knight in shining armor. As the sort of person who knows how to solve problems, not just your problems but his own. Be approving of him. Of how he thinks and feels and listen to him.
Treat him as if he were an important friend. Friends support one another and talk. Learn his likes and dislikes and how he participates in life.
Listen carefully to what he’s saying, do not criticize or belittle or make him feel he doesn’t know what he is doing. You can present your opinion on something and still be supportive of his ideas or how he approaches a problem.
Now this is the most important thing to remember. Make up your mind that you will never tolerate being abused, disrespected, misused or disregarded in any manner. Always keep your self-respect by not pushing yourself on someone who just isn’t into you.
Self-respect is the most important ingredient in attracting and keeping a man. It shows your strength and that you have a life with or without him.
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